so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize