What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Randomize
