Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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