Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Everyone says I win the strip club
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
