I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
