Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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