I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
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