one two three fourrrrnication!
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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