He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
