guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
