Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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