I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
