I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
