There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Randomize
