i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
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