I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
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