did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
