that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
