I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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