Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize