He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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