all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
