God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
vagina is talking i cant
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
