I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
