she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
You dont lie about slip and slides
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
