my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
