Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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