You're earring is so big in my mouth
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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