I need help removing her.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
