We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
