I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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