you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
