But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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