my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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