I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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