You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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