You can't special order awesome
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
