this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Randomize
