ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
