Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
