lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
