Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize
