i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
