It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
