I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
