one two three fourrrrnication!
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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