In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
