You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
