I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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