Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
