I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
