On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
