He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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