I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
