If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
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