Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
