Even the bartender felt bad for me
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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