why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
