It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
