Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize