Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
You took a bar mat shot.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
My bed smells like the plague
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