just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
