Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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