You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
foreskin is a definite game changer
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
