You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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