i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize