If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
