so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
