My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
vagina is talking i cant
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
