Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
