The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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