so explain again why im purple
no
Non-Jews are for practice
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
